I used to blog about my thoughts, I used to be very literal. In advance I apologize for bad grammar, typos and short-cuts though by now you should have already noticed that even in text I speak with an urban accent =p. So with that said, I'd love to go back to being a little literic (yeh so wat, made it up hehehe) which u'll see throughout the existence of my blog.
Myre-ikko
I'm on a current state of ups and downs and all arounds, but at least it's not as bad as it used to be. Maybe it's cause the days are caving in and I'm secretly going insane with the thought of reaching a change. Waiting any longer than the end of next year is all I'm able to handle, anymore will drive me to making a reckless decision.
Many people always questions life and it's purpose with them. The simple things almost don't matter. Really, life is to live, breathe, eat, drink, sleep, wake, walk, run, survive. But to us, being human, life is to impress, change, think, decide, believe, regret, inspire, succeed, fail...learn. Though did you notice that there would be days you forget to breathe. Everyone goes through it, but not everyone would share. It could be fear in the favor, but truth is that sometimes it's better to hide certain things from the world than to express it.
I've been on a certain path that I've once was in. I don't even know how I got back here -.- Back to questioning, worrying, wondering.... I'm back to being unsure. I hate being here, it's something I can't really handle, but I have noticed I've been handling it a lil better.
Friends would ask me how I got this mindset. Having to deal easily with things that could drive them into insanity. I really don't know, I guess you have to psych yourself out to get there? It's either that or I just try my best to be standing in the middle of the seesaw.
I'd say I'm content most of the time, but really I'm done.
I'm so ready to move on, to grow and spread my wings. I'm ready to see my dreams come true, to live in the places I wish to, to own the things I desire.
Reality you can't just say it'll be that way, if you want it to, you gotta work it out make sure u continue making that path. Let others lead you, you'll just end up where they want to be.
I'm done with making decisions based on other people. I'm done helping them succeed while I'm sitting in the back-seat. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I've just been doing this same old shet for way too long. I've only found a few who returns the favor :( Why can't I find more...
To add on to the stress, who I wish to be takes alot of hard-work. Some people are born with it, some people easily masters it, some people though like I has to work hard to reach it. It's a matter of reminding yourself. Every artist will never be completely proud of where they are. An artist should never be the same as another. An artist should not do it for the fame or glory but for the love of creation. But of course.... you would question those facts if you choose art as a living.
I need to remind myself to compare my work with others for the only reason of progression. I need to make what pulls me down, a push towards being better. I need to just get back in the game with a 100% effort and stop with this lazyness. A lil extra effort really does help, and I need to do this. I can't afford falling behind.
I guess I can easily say that being made up of more then one personality is a curse and a blessing. I'm both a very positive and a very negative person. I'm content but worry-full. I can lead and I can follow. I can create or just sit back and watch. But I choose to keep the balance. I rather be positive while weighing in the negatives, I rather be content and remember the things that can stop my worries, I rather lead then follow and I definitely rather create.
I'm happy to be multicreative, I rather be all then just one.
I rather be a "PhotoGraphic Artist" then just either one =].
I'm here to be an Art Director,
that is what I need to remember ^-^
Much love,
Nix
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